


Intervention

by Amarissia



Series: Decorum [19]
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-10 13:19:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1160178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amarissia/pseuds/Amarissia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zack Fair's first relationship, and how Sephiroth reacts to it. Badly, in case you were wondering. Part of the Decorum series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intervention

**INTERVENTION  
Part of the Decorum series**

 

"You know, you should have warned me about this sappy side of you. What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Keep it, treasure it, cry over it during our first fight. Which we won't have, because I'll always let you win."

Zack groaned and smiled at the same time as they stepped off the elevator. "I can't believe you just made me carry a flower across the ShinRa Compound."

Lieutenant Matheson smiled and gently took Zack's hand, the one that was - despite the newly-promoted 2nd's protests - holding the dethorned stem of the red rose carefully. Matheson had held the other hand at every opportunity all night, and had been doing so since their first date about a month ago. Not every SOLDIER would be that open, certainly not...Zack's stomach twisted. He was unfaithful in his thoughts, he felt, far too often, even when he just thought the name he tried not to say aloud.

Matheson's - Dean's - other hand touched his chin, the thumb traced the teenager's lips. "You okay, babe?"

"Yeah," Zack said, feeling a faint flush in his cheeks. The nickname, like the brown eyes fixed on him, was so heavy with affection and longing. Again, Zack's guilt pulled at his abdominal muscles, a physical manifestation of the boy's sensitive conscience.

He liked Matheson, he honestly did. Handsome, charming, funny, confident. Friendly to all, a good SOLDIER, an intelligent and laid-back guy. Zack had been a bit surprised to learn that the 1st's friendliness toward him had a more-than-platonic motive, but then, such things always surprised Zack. He didn't think of himself as anything special, and was frequently bemused and dazed by the way Dean treated him like something priceless and unique.

"Angeal didn't threaten you or anything, did he?" Zack had asked nervously during their second date.

"Of course he did. Something about ritual disembowelment if he saw you so much as frown." Matheson had smiled at Zack's apologetic groan. "Don't worry about it. I told him I would deserve worse if I ever hurt you."

Dean seemed perfect like that in almost every respect. He acknowledged that his feelings were, at the moment, much stronger than Zack's and told him that was okay. He wasn't one of the overly serious SOLDIERs and appreciated Zack's cheer and humor, but nor was he like the older ones who treated the boy as a favored pet. Like Zack, he was affectionate and physical by nature, and liked to draw Zack close to him in public, and kiss too if he was permitted. Matheson's behavior was charming, chivalrous at times, and he seemed to want nothing in the world but Zack.

Zack was pretty sure you had to be an idiot to not be head-over-heels for such a guy. He was trying to be...if only he could forget Sephiroth.

They were halfway down the hallway before Zack realized this wasn't his floor, but Matheson's. Dean saw realization light up his eyes and laughed.

"We're both free tomorrow morning. Stay for awhile. Please?"

Zack hesitated. The physical aspect of their relationship was going a bit too fast for him. Dean was gentle and careful with him, but in the bedroom he tended to want to rush things more, and often Zack gave in not because he felt ready, but because he didn't want to come off as a barely-eighteen-year-old who had never before known anything but kissing and his own hand. Inexperience made him feel younger than he was, like the way he felt in the presence of Angeal, who needed that youthful energy to bring the stoic mentor down to his actual age.

Matheson liked the inexperience, he said, and mostly he was a patient and loving teacher. It wasn't Dean's fault he was uncomfortable, Zack often told himself. It was his own, for having no prior relationships, for comparing Dean's behavior to Angeal's, for being hung up on Sephiroth. He had to make it up to him somehow, and it's not like he didn't enjoy the blowjobs and handjobs and being held by someone who wanted him.

"Okay. Just for awhile."

Once in the 1st's apartment, they tiptoed past the dog bed where Zack's namesake lay sleeping to the kitchen. Dean offered a glass of wine and was pleased when Zack accepted, as he usually didn't. As the younger SOLDIER sipped it, Matheson tipped the glass further so that more spilled into his mouth. Zack managed to quickly swallow it all before laughing.

"What was that for?"

"So I could do this."

Dean gently tugged Zack off the bar stool and pulled him close, wrapping the smaller, shorter body in thick arms against a broad chest. One hand threaded into the spiky black hair as the beautiful face looked up to smile shyly. Gaia, those pale blue eyes that occasionally bore traces of green as well. Matheson had never seen anything or anyone he wanted more. Even as he kissed Zack, finding and teasing out his tongue, he continued to watch until the lovely eyes closed, only then giving himself over to tasting Zack. The boy followed his lead well, a perfect submissive, responsive but very often hesitant, needing to be guided, and he was happy to oblige.

Zack sighed and willingly tilted his head as Dean's lips made their way down his jaw to his neck. There was a sensitive spot that he brushed over and stopped nearby, missing the mark but close enough to make Zack moan softly. It felt good, always, even the hand that was rubbing his ass over the SOLDIER fatigues, but something was missing, as usual. Zack knew what, and rather than think about it and delve into that familiar pain, he let Dean steer him toward the bedroom.

No big deal to be eased back onto the mattress with Matheson above him; this was Dean's preferred position for everything. There was nothing objectionable in the way Zack's boyfriend settled himself lightly on top and began to kiss again, sneaking one hand beneath the uniform sweater to explore the hard chest and stomach. And Zack didn't mind when the sweater was tugged upward and slipped over his head and off, he only hesitated when fingers went to his zipper.

"Um..." he said awkwardly.

"Let me see you, babe. Please?"

The request was so eager, so hopeful, that Zack found himself nodding, hoping that doing so would ease the guilt of wishing for the weight of a different body. Matheson had seen him half-naked and with his pants down, of course, but Zack had never been completely nude for him before, and heat returned to his cheeks as Dean's eyes took him in like a starving man might survey a banquet.

"You're so perfect," he murmured, tracing Zack's lips with his fingers. "Even more than I imagined."

Zack was too humbled and tongue-tied to respond, but Dean apparently didn't expect him to speak. He captured Zack's lips with his own for a few moments, then began to descend, kissing down the chin and neck to the chest. There he made detours to suck at the nipples, wetting them and leaving them to harden in the cool air. Zack moaned and shifted restlessly, but Matheson held him steady by the hips and continued south, where the prize he sought was willingly hardening for him.

He tongued the slit first, patient but insistent as a man digging for treasure, and was rewarded for his efforts with a pearly white drop and exquisite, needy sounds from Zack. The younger was trying to thrust upward, making it clear what he wanted, but Matheson was determined to push things further tonight. He kept the hips still and lapped at the head, smiling as Zack began to quietly whine.

"Okay, babe. Don't hold back. Let me hear you."

Zack's need to stifle the sounds he made while being pleasured seemed to be instinctive, as he had not learned it anywhere. It was kind of funny, considering how noisy he was in most other situations. The cry he made now as Dean's mouth took him in was still subdued, but it was raw and relieved and full of desire, and that was enough. Normally Dean drew this out as much as he could stand, letting his hands wander and teasing the younger SOLDIER until he was shaking and stammering pleas. But tonight, he had other plans.

Matheson's head bobbed up and down between Zack's taut thighs, applying just the right amount of suction to just the right spots. A louder cry burst out of the boy at last, and Matheson didn't let a drop of the milky semen go to waste, drinking it down and licking the remainder from Zack's softening length. Satisfied that he had gotten it all, Dean crawled up to kiss Zack, who grimaced for a moment at his own taste - not used to it - but kissed back as his boneless limbs lay in post-orgasm weakness. He didn't have the same endurance as a 1st Class and was drained faster and more easily, but it didn't matter much, as he mostly just needed to follow Matheson's lead. There was only one thing he had pronounced himself not ready for.

Matheson shucked off his clothes and straddled Zack, letting his large, proud erection nudge the teenager's stomach. Zack reached for it, and looked uncertain when Dean caught his hand and kissed it.

"Don't you want me to..."

"I don't want you to do anything you don't want," Matheson said, in a gentle voice that was too adult and teacher-ish for Zack's liking. "But I hate to think you're afraid of me, or you think I might hurt you."

"It's not that," the boy said quickly. "It's...I don't know what it is."

"I assume you know by now that I can make you feel good," Dean said slyly, grinning at Zack's smile. "I do, if those sounds you make are any indication. Gaia, I think I'm addicted to them. You know, sometimes you whimper, just like a puppy."

Zack winced. "Don't...don't use that word, okay?"

"Sorry, babe, I wasn't thinking," Dean said immediately, running his hands over the smooth skin of Zack's sides that curved in toward the waist and out at the hips. "I don't want Angeal on your mind at times like this, either."

Zack accepted the apology with a smile, and Matheson went on. "Can I say something to you? I don't expect you to say it back, I promise."

A wince again, an expression of guilt and pain, but Matheson cupped the sweet face and stared down into the pale, winter-blue eyes. "I love you," he said, so simply that Zack couldn't argue that it was too soon, too much, too fast. He blinked quickly and bit his lower lip in case the unhappy tears and sobs he felt deep down decided to come up. But Dean was kissing him again, and swallowed the single sound of hurt that escaped. The lips and the hands that caressed him were so selfless and understanding that Zack felt a rush of fondness and gratitude toward Dean go through him, and wrapped his arms around the 1st to pull him closer. It wasn't love, but it felt good. Better than being alone, making himself sick with longing for silver eyes and hair like a waterfall of starlight.

"It's okay, babe," Matheson panted when they stopped for air. "I can wait for you to love me back. I'm happy to have every moment I spend with you, every touch. It's more than I deserve."

Oh, that stung. "Don't say that," Zack pleaded, rubbing his hand over a broad shoulder. "That's not true."

"It's normal to be nervous your first time, you know. But I won't rush you. I want you to trust me."

"I do trust you," Zack said softly, taking a sudden breath as hard, thick heat gently pushed against his thigh.

"Feel that? No one does this to me but you. I've never felt like this about anyone. But we've got time. Just let me take care of this and I'll walk you - "

"Okay," Zack said, in a voice that tried to be certain and steady and almost succeeded. "You can."

"Not till you're ready, babe, I don't mind waiting."

"I don't need to wait anymore. I want to, just...just be careful, okay?"

Dean grinned widely and kissed him again, a slow, deep one that Zack felt in every nerve ending. "I promise. I'd never hurt you."

Immediately, it seemed, a bottle of lubricant was within reach and Dean was urging Zack's middle up to slide a pillow beneath him. Zack made a nervous noise as his legs were parted, as he knew what was coming. Dean smiled reassuringly and stroked the insides of his thighs.

"Ever done this to yourself? No? Maybe you will someday, for me? I fantasize about watching you touch yourself, one hand stroking, the other inside, with your fingers wet and opening you up for me."

Zack's breathing sped up as the first finger circled, then slowly plunged inside. A second joined it only a few moments later, and between the jolts of pleasure, the stretching feeling was hurried and uncomfortable. Three now, and Dean responded to Zack's sound of displeasure with an apologetic look.

"Sorry, baby, you're just so tight. This is gonna hurt at first, but then it'll be amazing. Trust me."

Zack didn't feel prepared enough when the oily fingers withdrew, but figured there was only so much precaution you could take for something like this. Dean lifted his legs higher and placed them on his own shoulders. Once he had lubricated himself, he massaged the 2nd's thighs with his hands and smiled with anticipation.

"Ready?"

Zack had barely begun to nod when the pressure began. That wasn't so bad, he was a SOLDIER, this was nothing...then the pain began. It was merely annoying at first, then stretching, tearing, ripping, like he was coming apart from the inside out. Zack opened his mouth to tell Dean to go slower, but then that jolt-of-pleasure spot was hit and a moan came out instead. Zack knew what that spot was. Enough of that and it would all be okay, but did it have to hurt this much? Did Dean have to be so eager in his shallow thrusts, so rough and insistent in grabbing Zack's wrists and pinning them?

"Relax," he groaned. "Try to relax, it'll be easier."

Relax? With all this happening? This was what Zack had waited longer than most SOLDIERs to do, what people loved so much that it made them stupid and reckless? He couldn't stop clenching, from the discomfort and knowledge that this wasn't right, even if it did feel good as well. Matheson hissed with each contraction, continuing to push past them, inside then out, inside then out, and deeper, like he was trying to reach the heart.

He would never be able to. Zack turned his face to one side and squeezed his eyes shut. The pillow absorbed his shameful tears as Dean's panting sped up and he came with a cry, returning to shallow thrusts as he rode out the orgasm.

"Zack?" Seconds or minutes later, Dean had withdrawn to a gasp of pain, and was feeling the wetness on his face. "Shit, I'm sorry. Hold on..."

A small vial was put to his lips, and Zack recognized the smell of Potion. He tried to shake his head and refuse, but Matheson sternly said "That's an order", and lifted Zack's head up so he could drink. The effect was instantaneous, and in the relief of the absence of pain, the 2nd smiled weakly to say he was all right. Dean continued to fuss anyway, offering more Potions, soothingly caressing his face, saying "You sure you're all right, babe?"

"I'm fine, really." Zack accepted the tongue that slid into his mouth, determined not to let it show that he was already regretting this.

"Stay the night," Dean pleaded, shifting to place kisses all over the boy's face. "Let me make it up to you. Or we can just sleep. As long as I get to hold you."

How could kind-hearted Zack say no to such a request? Sephiroth was beyond his reach, and here was a guy who loved him, who surely Zack would grow to love back. Someday love would replace this feeling of being incomplete and alone. It had to.

Zack murmured assent as he was gently turned on his side, and nuzzled the muscular chest he was drawn to. "So beautiful," Matheson whispered into the spiky hair he was stroking, and the words devastated Zack like a curse. Dean's other hand slipped between the young man's legs and coaxed him back to hardness. The moans he prompted from Zack were soft, but enough to hide the crying he couldn't quite hold back.

__

zsazsazsa

Angeal sat down on the computer-generated Junon Cannon to catch his breath, setting both the Buster Sword and his fighting sword carefully beside him. Sparring with Sephiroth was always an excellent workout, and they'd been at it for nearly six hours with hardly a rest. It had been one of their favorite things to do together as long as they'd known each other...not to mention that Angeal was a more challenging partner than anyone else for the general.

Sephiroth sat beside him, looking out emotionlessly into the simulated afternoon sky. He was the one who had called halt, maybe out of concern for his partner, because he himself was breathing as soundlessly as always, not a trace of sweat, not a hair out of place. Even distracted as he was, when he fought he went into one of two auto-pilots - fighting-to-spar or fighting-to-kill. Sephiroth had always said he enjoyed battle more than anything else, but now, watching his friend's distant eyes, Angeal wondered if it was ever as satisfying for Sephiroth as it was for other SOLDIERs. Where was the challenge when you're unbeatable?

"Seph."

"Yes?"

"What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean with you. You've been distracted."

"I am fine, I have merely been busy," Sephiroth deflected, having had years of practice against Angeal's concern. "As have you. I'm told you volunteered for Midgar patrol yesterday. Which you hate, if I remember correctly."

"Fair enough," Angeal assented, realizing Sephiroth was not going to open up. "Zack was scheduled and I wanted to keep an eye on him."

Sephiroth shifted, so slightly that Angeal didn't notice it as he rolled his eyes at the view and continued. "His concentration has been improving and I wanted to be sure Lt. Matheson's presence on a mission didn't destroy it."

"Why would Matheson's presence do such a thing?"

"You haven't heard? No, of course not, hardly anyone's seen you the past month. Zack and Matheson are...dating." Angeal's tone didn't change on that last word, but the brief pause before it betrayed his discomfort.

Physically, nothing about Sephiroth changed. Looking at his expression, one might assume Angeal was talking about the weather or a department meeting. But inside, Sephiroth felt an odd curling sensation in his chest and abdomen, like something was shriveling up and dying. Then unpleasantness, a sort of mental nausea as emotions rose up, and he knew as always that he would not be able to name them all. Anger, at Matheson, at himself, at everything, at nothing. Jealousy, one he'd seen his whole life and only learned the poison bitterness of recently.

But one emotion overpowered the others, heavier, filling him up like a weight. No name for it occurred to him, only memories of feelings like this that had come before. The day Sephiroth had woken up and been told that Gast had gone, that he hadn't cared enough to stay. The rat he had named Nezumi becoming a cold body with a broken neck, never again to eat cheese from his hand and run to the door when he opened the cage. Hollander's face, contorted with grief, gasping that Genesis was gone, don't worry, boys, he's in a better place now. And Angeal had hugged him, tight enough to hurt any normal fourteen-year-old, and Sephiroth had held on with a blank expression, pretending that he was trying hard to feel something when he was really trying not to.

"This is a terrible loss," Hollander had later said to Angeal, kindly. "We all share your sadness." Loss. Sadness. They fit but made no sense. Fair was never his, never could be, he had been deprived of nothing. He had no right to want to kill Matheson for touching what was his, it wasn't his, but this illogical angry nauseous white-hot ridiculous feeling insisted Fair was his, was supposed to be. Sephiroth tried to tell himself he wanted the boy to be loved and happy. And he did, he would've given anything to assure Fair that, but the "Mine" impulse was stronger, roared louder.

"Seph?"

"You are allowing this?" the general asked in a disinterested voice.

"Allowing? Seph, I'm his mentor, not his father, even if I act like I am sometimes. I have no say in his romantic life."

"Surely he gives attention to your opinions. You don't approve."

"I checked Matheson out as thoroughly as I could. No red flags, and every time he looks at Zack he's got stars in his eyes. They get along, they like each other - "

"He is a 1st," Sephiroth interjected. "Older than Fair, stronger, more experienced."

"I'm not thrilled about that, believe me. But I made it clear to him that he's dead if he hurts Zack in any way. Seph, are you worried?"

"Fair is our most promising 2nd Class. I would be displeased if this liaison negatively impacts his performance."

"I'm keeping an eye on him." Angeal stretched out and lay back, propping himself up on his elbows. "I admit, it's strange. It bothers me more than it should. But this could be good for the pup. The sooner he gets over you, the sooner you two can be friends."

"I would like that," Sephiroth said softly.

"I know Zack's loud and irritating at times." Angeal smiled fondly. "But he grows on you very quickly. That spirit he has is something most people either never had or lose as they get older and less innocent. I think he'll always have it. Being around him makes me forget that I've lost anything, and that the planet's ever disappointed me. I just..."

"You love him," Sephiroth murmured from behind a curtain of silver hair.

"Yeah. Seph, do me a favor. If anything happens to me - don't argue, I said 'if' - promise me you'll look after him."

Sephiroth nodded immediately, weighing the unpleasantness of not having Fair the way he wanted him against not having him at all. Pain either way, but the thought of never seeing those eyes close-up again...

"You are not worried I might make good my threats to kill him?"

Angeal laughed as he stood and prepared for another round. "Nah. The puppy can worm his way into anyone's heart."

Sephiroth pondered this as he raised Masamune, the quiet he had used to feel inside replaced by the noise and confusion of all these feelings. Maybe there was a deeper truth behind Angeal's offhand comment. Maybe a heart must be infiltrated by someone before you can be certain it's really there.

__

zsazsazsa

**One Week Later**

Sephiroth walked the familiar hallways slowly, taking note of their unusual quiet but too distracted to enjoy it. Most of the Compound-stationed SLDIERs were in the field today, there were multiple missions going on that he had to keep track of in his head, and be ready to join any one of them in the event of an emergency. Not that he was expecting to have to. All the team leaders were more than capable of handling their assignments - Heinz, Dawson, Hitchcock, Angeal himself.

No need to worry, even if Sephiroth were prone to such a waste of thought and energy. It was restful to walk these corridors without crowds and noise, while the 'skeleton crew' of SOLDIERs left at home trained or took advantage of this lazy day. The only concern was that the Compound itself was in a more vulnerable state than usual and may be a tempting target for ShinRa's enemies, so the general was doing some informal patrolling, watching and listening for anything out of the ordinary.

Raised voices caught his attention from a nearby hallway, seldom used, that slanted diagonally off the floor's main corridor. One voice was slightly raised, at least, the other was trying to be quiet, and what snared Sephiroth's interest was that the first was Lt. Matheson, the second Fair.

"Would you just let me explain?!"

"There's nothing to explain. Just leave me alone."

That wasn't right. Fair sounded miserable, defeated. Sephiroth edged nearer so he could see without being seen. Zack was walking in his direction, face tilted downward and hidden by hanging spikes of hair. Matheson stepped out from behind and grabbed his arm.

"Look, babe, I had no idea - "

"Don't call me that," Zack snapped, jerking his arm free.

"It was those 2nds, not me! I know what I said sounded bad, but you misinterpreted."

"How can I misinterpret 'Pay up, I fucked the puppy'?!"

Sephiroth had never seen Fair angry before, and beneath his own growing fury, he found the sight fascinating. Fair's pale eyes were glowing blue-green with mako, and he stood in a stance that was not quite a fighting one, but tense and utterly unlike his normal, bouncy manner. Matheson reached a hand toward his face, Zack knocked it away, and the 1st scowled.

"I was getting proof that they had that bet going so I could reprimand them. It was a strategy!"

"I heard you joking with them!" Zack nearly exploded. "'Whimpers just like a puppy', right? You're sick. We're done. Just leave me alone."

The teenager tried to stalk off, but Matheson grabbed his arms and pinned him roughly against the wall. "So, what, you gonna go tattle to Angeal?"

"No! Now let go, or I'll - "

"You'll what?" Matheson laughed. "Attack me? I'm a 1st, you're a 2nd. You'll do what I tell you, unless you - "

Matheson never got to finish his threat. The next thing he knew, his feet were off the floor and he was being held in the air by his throat, gasping down at the face of Sephiroth. The general's eyes were so bright that they stung to look at, his expression was a rage that could only mean death to challenge, and a low, feral growl was coming through his clenched teeth. Even if Matheson had enough breath to talk a little, he could only whimper in terror as his eyes bulged and the crotch of his fatigues darkened with urine.

Sephiroth smiled insanely, tightening his fingers around the throat. It would be so satisfying to hear the bones crack and splinter like rotting wood, to hurt this thing that would have hurt - 

"Sir?"

Without thinking, Sephiroth turned to look at Fair. Strangely, the boy wasn't frightened of him in this dangerous state as everyone else was. He was glancing anxiously at Matheson, eyes back to pale blue and betraying sympathy, or maybe just a dislike of death, something he shared with Angeal.

"Don't kill him. Please?"

As though it were a command, not a plea, Sephiroth's grip loosened immediately and he turned back to observe his blubbering victim. Very well, he'd spare its life, but only for Fair's sake.

"Listen to me very carefully," the general said in a low, deadly voice. "You are transferred to Wutai. You leave today. Now. If I ever see you again, I will gut you and string you up by your own intestines. Understood?"

A frantic nod and a sob that sounded affirmative. Sephiroth dropped him and he scrambled clumsily to his feet and ran, nearly falling several times and rushing like death was on his heels. The general watched him go, taking a slow, deep breath and willing himself to calm before he spoke to Fair. But he couldn't wait a moment before looking at him, making sure the boy had not been harmed.

To his surprise, Zack was smiling weakly. "Is this what they mean by 'green-eyed monster'?" he joked. 

"I don't understand." His eyes were still glowing, he knew, but Fair didn't seem to be referring to him.

"Nothing. Um..." The boy shuffled his feet and looked embarrassed. "Thanks. I could've handled it, but, y'know..."

"Matheson outranked you," Sephiroth said flatly. "He took advantage of that and put you in an unforgivable position. You should not have to deal with such a thing. Though," he added after a second's pause, "I'm sure you would have been able to defend yourself, if necessary."

Now Zack gave him a bright, genuine grin, the sort he often beamed at his mentor. "Really, thank you."

Sephiroth found himself faintly smiling back. "You are welcome. Did he injure you?"

"No, sir, I'm fine. Just feeling like an idiot, and I don't think there's a cure for that," Zack sighed.

"Angeal says you are intelligent."

"Can we...could you please not tell him about this, General?"

Sephiroth blinked. He had been under the impression that Zack shared everything with Angeal. "You don't intend to inform him?"

"I'm gonna tell Angeal that Dean and I are over, just not why. He tends to get a little..."

"Protective?"

"I was gonna say nuts, but yeah, that works too."

Sephiroth nodded, surprised how comfortable it was talking to Fair, even with the constant impulse to touch him. "Very well. You may return to whatever you were doing, Lieutenant."

"Thanks, sir."

The sweet smile again, beguiling in a face lightly flushed with color, then Zack ducked his head down and quickly walked out of sight, not yet with his characteristic bounce but getting there. A faint scent lingered in the air behind him, one only a high level of mako could detect. It was like lavender and cinnamon and clean skin, and he drank it in with such deep breaths that his heart began to pound, a very rare occurrence. Thank Gaia for his unfailing control, or he might have followed the young man and buried his nose in that interesting hair. It would be soft, Sephiroth knew somehow...

_Enough._

The general continued his patrol in the same distracted state of mind as before, clenching his hands into fists for fear of them shaking.

__

zsazsazsa

"What happened?"

"To what are you referring?"

"Don't think you're getting out of this one, Seph. Zack breaks up with Matheson, who just happens to get abruptly transferred on the same day, by your orders. In a state of near-hysterical panic, from what I heard." Angeal placed his hands palm-down on the general's desk and leaned forward. "Something happened. Zack won't tell me, so I need you to."

"I cannot."

"Seph, this is important! If something happened to Zack - "

"Nothing happened to your puppy," Sephiroth said with quiet finality, letting his eyes flicker up. "I made sure of that. I cannot offer any details, Angeal. I promised."

"Promised who? Zack?" At the silent nod that answered, Angeal straightened up and rubbed his chin wearily. "So I don't need to kill anyone?"

"No. It's been taken care of."

The commander's eyes were watching him intently, probing. "You protected him for me. Thank you."

"It was..."

"What?"

"I did not make the decision to intervene. It just happened. Is that normal?"

"I could answer that better if I knew exactly what happened. But Zack seems okay, so I can only assume you did what was necessary. And for you..." Angeal smirked. "That's very normal."

"I would tell you if I could, or if I believed you needed to know."

"I understand, Seph. You always keep your promises." Angeal sighed. "Will you at least tell me why that handful of 2nds has been outside running laps for the past five hours?"

Sephiroth considered for a moment. "Disrespect."

"Ah." Having reclaimed his usual serious expression, the commander briefly clasped his old friend's shoulder. "I'm more grateful than I am frustrated, so I'll back off for the day. But you and I need to talk, soon."

"Concerning what?"

"That's what I'm hoping you'll tell me."

Angeal left without another word, perhaps to go try to weasel answers out of Fair, or simply spend time with him as he so often did. He could ruffle the boy's hair all he wanted, hug him, pat his back to praise or comfort. Angeal had never been much more tactile than himself, and yet he did these things naturally, easily.

 _No,_ Sephiroth told himself, _you cannot be jealous of Angeal. What you want from Fair is entirely different._ This was only a guess, as the general wasn't quite sure exactly what he wanted from Fair. Everything? All of him? Did that make him no better than Matheson, who might've taken what he wished by force if he'd had the time? The thought made Sephiroth feel ill. He would never harm Zack, never embarrass him if he could help it, never put anything frightened or confused in those beautiful eyes.

_Does that mean I should be his friend? Put him at ease?_

It was something. Friendship, Sephiroth at least had a little experience with, through Angeal and Genesis. He was capable of that. And it would mean an excuse to watch over Fair, to hear his voice and drink in his scent and learn how to cope with the loss-feeling as the boy continued to "get over" him.

Another emotion rose up from the ever-present tangle of them, a combination of all the ones Zack brought out in him. It was nothing like any Sephiroth could recall feeling before, full of contradictions and ridiculous hopes and silly longings and regrets that he was not any other person on the planet, someone who would know what to do with this painful joy. Sephiroth lay his head on the desk and pleased himself with imagining Fair smiling, happy, being loved the way he deserved to be, by someone who could.

Inside, the dying feeling persisted. As though something had taken root in the heart, and was stirring it out of sleep into the pain of being awake.


End file.
